Five for Friday, February 26.

I realize I don’t write many unabashedly uplifting posts, so here is a list of five things that made me happy recently:

1. My friend J-Wy got into MICA, and will be living with me for a few weeks. Sorry if that ruins the surprise for people she hasn’t told yet.
2. These messenger bags made from life jackets. If I could wear yellow, I would be all about it. I can’t, so I bequeath this to you.
   Update: It is €129. So, never mind.
3. Darkon. Less than five minutes in, there are night/dark elves. Talking in an elf-language. Wearing blackface. And then it gets legitimately touching, and pretty good. Worth watching.
4. Finally, proof that guinea pigs can code.
5. Getting paid. Paychecks are tremendous, but direct deposit rules the schools.

Faster throughput.

When I first heard about Baltimore Fiber in passing, I assumed it was some sort of healthy-eating initiative. Instead, it’s something I actually care about:

Google is planning to build ultra-high speed broadband networks in a small number of trial locations across the country. The plan is to deploy 1 Gbps, fiber optic connections directly to people’s homes. This connection would be 2,000% faster than the fastest connection currently available to Baltimore residents.

My rationale for including Bmore in this project:

1. High population density in the city itself. Houses are small and are literally touching, in many cases.
2. Small physical area. The whole of Baltimore City is less than 100 square miles.
3. Much-needed competition. Comcast offers overpriced, slow service, and Verizon, although cheaper, is similarly slow and doesn’t offer fiber optic service in many areas.

If you’re in or around Baltimore, you should lobby Google and voice your support.

Splorp.

From Wikipedia:

The term “slush fund” was originally a nautical term; the slush referred to the fat or grease that was obtained by boiling salted meat, the sale of which could then be used to provide the crew with special luxuries. The money obtained from this sale was placed into the so-called ‘slush-fund’.

Let’s go, Toyota.

Although I’m generally of the “cars shouldn’t go Herbie and start driving on their own” school of thought, stopping a runaway car really is, to quote Scott, “bush league material,” and although it’s certainly a bad look for Toyota, there are relatively few circumstances under which it should be fatal. So, if your car isn’t braking¹ or starts accelerating or solving crimes and talking back, here’s what you should do:

1. Shift into neutral for acceleration, or downshift for brake failure.
2. Apply the brakes. If your brakes are out, gently engage the emergency brake.
3. Hit your emergency flashers, find somewhere to pull over and kill the engine.

Serendipity.

Oh, irony. You never disappoint.

The salient grafs from the three stories:

1. A top Toyota official claimed that a negotiated agreement with U.S. government auto-safety regulators prevented a widespread vehicle recall and saved the Japanese auto giant more than $100 million, according to a document obtained by The Washington Post after it was turned over to congressional investigators.
   [...]
   Under the heading “Wins for Toyota & Industry,” [Toyota North America president Yoshi] Inaba wrote: “Negotiated ‘equipment’ recall on Camry/ES re. SA, saved $100M+, w/ no defect found.” “SA” stands for “sudden acceleration.”
2. Kabul Bank‘s boss has been handing out far bigger prizes to his country’s U.S.-backed ruling elite: multimillion-dollar loans for the purchase of luxury villas in Dubai by members of President Hamid Karzai’s family, his government and his supporters.

   The close ties between Kabul Bank and Karzai’s circle reflect a defining feature of the shaky post-Taliban order in which Washington has invested more than $40 billion and the lives of more than 900 U.S. service members: a crony capitalism that enriches politically connected insiders and dismays the Afghan populace.

3. A federal judge on Monday morning approved a $150 million settlement between the Securities and Exchange Commission and Bank of America over allegations that the firm lied to investors about bonuses and mounting losses during the financial crisis of fall 2008.
   [...]
   And although the bank will be able to put this episode aside, it faces another major lawsuit by New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo that charges both the bank and two former top executives with fraud. The SEC declined to charge any individuals.