antimeria

I realize I don’t write many unabashedly uplifting posts, so here is a list of five things that made me happy recently:

1. My friend J-Wy got into MICA, and will be living with me for a few weeks. Sorry if that ruins the surprise for people she hasn’t told yet.
2. These messenger bags made from life jackets. If I could wear yellow, I would be all about it. I can’t, so I bequeath this to you.
   Update: It is €129. So, never mind.
3. Darkon. Less than five minutes in, there are night/dark elves. Talking in an elf-language. Wearing blackface. And then it gets legitimately touching, and pretty good. Worth watching.
4. Finally, proof that guinea pigs can code.
5. Getting paid. Paychecks are tremendous, but direct deposit rules the schools.

It was wonderful seeing everyone in Chicago (and Iowa), but that’s not interesting to people who weren’t there. So instead, naked fully-clothed materialism!

The only downside: these shoes were designed by one of the All-American Rejects (I had to look up what AAR stood for).

Five apparel brands I hate:

1. Ed Hardy takes the top spot from…
2. Affliction. If everyone who ever bought anything from these two companies fought to the death over who had the biggest deltoids, humanity would be richer for it.
3. Crocs. Very few things in this life gave me more pleasure than reading that these awful-as-microwaved-crap sandals were going down in flames.
4. Life is Good. I don’t honestly understand wearing slap-happy slogans with shitty designs on ill-fitting t-shirts.
5. Thom Browne. Hey, guy? Your suit doesn’t fit.

I hated Kenley. Fuck, everyone did. So get ready for some world-class schadenfreude:

“Project Runway” finalist Kenley Collins was arrested today after assaulting her fiance with their cat, authorities said today.
[...]
According to law enforcement sources, an enraged Collins woke Penley up just after 7 a.m. by hurling their cat in his face. Then she threw her laptop, and as he fell crawled on the floor, slammed a door on his head.

She threw three apples, and doused him with water, before he was able to dial 911.

“You’re lucky, it could have been worse,” Collins told Penley after the blow, according to sources.

It’s been a bit tumultuous in the Penley-Kenley household, too:

Neighbors said the couple had been fighting for weeks.

“Lately there has been a lot of yelling,” neighbor Ken Edge, 31, said. “I can hear Kenley much louder than I can hear Zak. When she speaks, she yells. Since she moved in around September there have been a lot of noise problems.”

I feel for the guy, even if he was dumb enough to start dating someone so obviously batshit. And the cherry on top is that she still refuses to take responsibility for anything she does:

“It was a miscommunication,” Collins told The Post after getting released without bail from Brooklyn Supreme Court yesterday morning.

“Fights happen, And that’s that. There is no case.”

Thanks for brightening my day, Jim (@Class_Act)!

Tangent: What the fuck, NYPost? Did you fire your entire copy editing staff?

See for yourself.