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Aug 08“Separate but equal” courses planned near foundries.
Reactionary white-bread folks are all about making everyone speak English, so it’s no surprise that golf, the most reactionary, crusty white-breadiest institution in the known universe, has made English its official language. The LPGA Tour has declared that members who can’t pass an English test will be suspended. Immediately after rounding up all the Koreans at the Safeway Classic, director Libba Galloway said the LPGA is a “global tour and is not targeting any specific player or country.”
Melanin-impaired tournament director Kate Peters championed the plan, announcing “This is an American tour,” before her spine collapsed under the weight of her American flag lapel pins.
A planned partnership with the Minutemen to build “a near-impenetrable fortification” around golf courses were cancelled after resistance from neighborhood organizations concerned about a border fence’s potential impact on rose bushes and Bermuda grass.