antimeria

a complete impediment to understanding

Writing exercise.

There’s an piece in this week’s NYer about creative writing programs. In true NYer style, it’s good (and incredibly long), but this sentence came off with a clonk, especially in an article about learning to write well:

As McGurl points out, the horses that the Plains Indians rode when they hunted, so picturesquely, the buffalo were European imports.

I think every journalism professor in the country just had a stroke. How would you fix this sentence? Discuss!

More potentially-related posts:

  1. Five for Friday, Sept. 4.
  2. Don’t Douthat.
  3. Thievery Tuesday.
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One Response

  1. This is terrible. Plus, Shawn Gillen does not need more health troubles.

    “McGurl explains that the allegedly untainted Plains Indians hunted buffalo atop horses imported from Europe.”

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