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Jun 09Writing exercise.
There’s an piece in this week’s NYer about creative writing programs. In true NYer style, it’s good (and incredibly long), but this sentence came off with a clonk, especially in an article about learning to write well:
As McGurl points out, the horses that the Plains Indians rode when they hunted, so picturesquely, the buffalo were European imports.
I think every journalism professor in the country just had a stroke. How would you fix this sentence? Discuss!
Tagged: language, nerdiness, reading
June 4th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
This is terrible. Plus, Shawn Gillen does not need more health troubles.
“McGurl explains that the allegedly untainted Plains Indians hunted buffalo atop horses imported from Europe.”