Why I won’t be voting November 4.

1. I’m not voting on the slots issue.
   The biggest local issue on the ballot is whether or not to pass a constitutional amendment allowing 15,000 slot machines in five locations. I’m nominally for slots–although slots are boring as hell, I generally believe people should be free to make stupid decisions–but a constitutional amendment seems a little gratuitous. On the other hand, Californians are voting on the truly vile Proposition 8, an amendment to ban gay marriage. So there’s that.
2. It won’t matter that I’m not voting on the slots issue.
   Recent polls indicate an approximate 60-40 split in support of the amendment, with very few undecideds.
3. I’m not important.
   This isn’t nearly as egomaniacal as it sounds–as a Maryland resident, I really will have no impact on the Presidential race. I’ll have less of an impact than a Ron Paul Revolutionary, no matter who I vote for.
4. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow.
   But more importantly…
5. I’m not registered.
   Thanks to the wonderful crapsacks at the Maryland DMV, who assumed that when I said “Yes, I’d like to register to vote,” I really meant “No, and take your time finishing up–hey, you look hungry. Maybe you should get a snack.” Thanks a lot, douchenozzles.

Tagged: politics

3 Responses to “Why I won’t be voting November 4.”

1. caroline Says:
   November 3rd, 2008 at 6:44 pm

   i can’t even believe this

2. lindsey Says:
   November 4th, 2008 at 5:57 pm

   why i won’t be voting: the motherfucking u.s. postal service.

3. Steve Says:
   November 5th, 2008 at 11:33 am

   #4 is a personal favorite. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND, DUDE.

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