antimeria

The question, as posed by the Epi-Log via Anthimeria:

What ten food items do we require, most days, to really enjoy life?
[...]
This isn’t recipes, or favourite foods, or whole food groups (one person said “cheese”, another “fruit” — not so easy!) but single items that you turn to most days … the building blocks of your meals, the items that are dropped most often in your grocery basket, eaten or imbibed most frequently. [I'm not counting alcohol in this list, though it's probably not healthy that it's even an option -M]

Well then, let’s get it (warning: this list may be skewed towards things I can see from my couch). After all, who doesn’t love listing?*

1. Black pepper.
2. Salt. I think I have three four kinds of salt in my kitchen.
3. Extra-virgin olive oil. I prefer a little pepperiness.
4. Bagels. I don’t eat a real breakfast too often, but I will usually take the time to toast a bagel.
5. Chicken/chicken broth. I wish I had time to make stock more often, but I don’t. The tribulations of this modern life could drive a man insane.
6. Garlic. Really, this should be up higher.
7. White onions and shallots. Again, probably should be higher.
8. Unsalted butter. Butter is awesome, although I knew a girl in college who loved to eat it straight. Everything in moderation, and all that.
9. Cilantro and parsley. Combined because they look similar from a distance, and they’re both nearly always in my fridge (The home-grown cilantro experiment was cut short by nibbling critters. We’ll try again next year).
10. Arugula and other leafy green things. Take that, Sarah Palin!

Runners-up: Bacon, tomatoes, cumin, asparagus, Italian Parm-Reg, squash, various mushrooms, lemons/lemon juice, proscuitto, bread (mostly French & ciabatta), rice (arborio & brown, usually), and some more stuff. Cranberry juice. Eggs, probably, too. Anything grillable in summer.

* Sailors, I imagine. [sfx: rimshot]

From Epicurious’ Epi-log:

Exactly how dedicated are you to the concepts of recycling, scrimping and using all-natural products in your food?

If you’re willing to put your money-shot where you mouth is, you’d send away for a copy of the cookbook Natural Harvest, which goes into stomach-churning detail about how to store, prepare and serve semen as food.

Yes, it has really, erm, come to this.

“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties,” the book’s description goes. “Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that.”

What. That… I…. after the title pun, I really can’t think of anything else to say. I’m spent.

I really have meant to write about food more, but I haven’t been going out to new places that much lately or making anything really inspired. But during my Chicago visit, I ended up going to…I think it was called the Handlebar. Googling…yes, the Handlebar. Anyway, they do hipster-friendly pescetarian food, complete with Chicago scene-required PBR. I was a fan of my sandwich, although I admit that $9 is a little spendy for goat cheese, sprouts, tomato and avocado. They also do some tasty smoked Gouda mac and cheese, which everyone liked and seemed easy enough to make at home, so tonight I did some basic macaroni research and came up with the following recipe. It’s really easy, takes less than a half-hour including the time it takes to boil water, and cheap–assuming you keep your kitchen stocked with the basics, $8 buys enough supplies for about 4-6 servings. Note: Most measurements are approximate, and some are based on tweaks I decided on for next time. No picture, because it would just look like normal mac and cheese captioned “Not pictured: waves of delicious Gouda-scent.”

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